The Power of Letting Go
What is letting go?
Letting go is like the sudden cessation of an inner pressure or the dropping of a weight. It is accompanied by a sudden feeling of relief and lightness, with an increased happiness and freedom. It is an actual mechanism of the mind, and everyone has experienced it on occasion.
Think how great it would be if you could do that all the time, in any place, and with any event. You could always feel free and happy and never be cornered by your feelings again.
That’s what this technique is all about: letting go consciously and frequently at will. You are then in charge of how you feel, and you are no longer at the mercy of the world and your reactions to it. You are no longer the victim.
Dealing With Your Feelings
We carry around with us a huge reservoir of accumulated negative feelings, attitudes, and beliefs. The accumulated pressure makes us miserable and is the basis of many of our illnesses and problems. The average human life is spent trying to avoid and run from the inner turmoil of fear and the threat of misery.
If we take a close look at human life, we see that it is essentially one long elaborate struggle to escape our inner fears and expectations that have been projected upon the world.
Interspersed are periods of celebration when we have momentarily escaped the inner fears, but the fears are still there waiting for us.
We have become afraid of our inner feelings because they hold such a massive amount of negativity that we fear we would be overwhelmed by it if we were to take a deeper look.
We have a fear of these feelings because we have no conscious mechanism by which to handle the feelings if we let them come up within ourselves.
Feelings and Thoughts
Because we are afraid to face them, they continue to accumulate and, finally, we secretly begin looking forward to death to bring all the pain to an end.
It is not thoughts or facts that are painful but the feelings that accompany them. Thoughts in and of themselves are painless, but not the feelings that underlie them.
It is the accumulated pressure of feelings that causes thoughts. One feeling, for instance, can create literally thousands of thoughts over a period.
Think, for instance, of one painful memory from early life, one terrible regret that has been hidden. Look at all the years and years of thoughts associated with that single event.
If we could surrender the underlying painful feeling, all of those thoughts would disappear instantly and we would forget the event.
This observation is in accord with scientific research. The Gray-LaViolette scientific theory integrates psychology and neurophysicology. Their research demonstrated that feeling tones organize thoughts and memory (Gray-LaViolette, 1981).
Thoughts are filed in the memory bank according to the various shades of feelings associated with those thoughts. Therefore, when we relinquish or let go of a feeling, we are freeing ourselves from all the associated thoughts.
The great value of knowing how to surrender is that any and all feelings can be let go of at any time and any place in an instant, and it can be done continuously and effortlessly.
What is the surrendered state?
It means to be free of negative feelings in a given area so that creativity and spontaneity can manifest without opposition or the interference of inner conflicts. To be free of inner conflict and expectations is to give others in our life the greatest freedom.
It allows us to experience the basic nature of the universe, which, it will be discovered, is to manifest the greatest good possible in a situation.
Feelings and Mental Mechanisms
We have three major ways of handling feelings: suppression, expression and escape.
1. Suppression and Repression
These are the most common ways in which we push feelings down and put them aside. In repression, this happens unconsciously; in suppression, it happens consciously.
The feelings that we select to be suppressed or repressed are in accord with the conscious and unconscious programs that we carry within us from social custom and family training.
The pressure of suppressed feelings is later felt as irritability, mood swings, tension in the muscles of the neck and back, headaches, cramps, menstrual disorders, colitis, indigestion, insomnia, hypertension, allergies, and other somatic conditions.
When we repress a feeling, it is because there is so much guilt and fear over the feeling that it is not even consciously felt at all.
It becomes instantly thrust into the unconscious as soon as it threatens to emerge. The repressed feeling is then handled in a variety of ways to ensure that it stays repressed and out of awareness.
Instead of feeling it, we project it onto the world and those around us. We experience the feeling as if it belonged to “them”. “They” then become the enemy, and the mind searches for and finds justification to reinforce the projection.
Blame is placed on people, places, institutions, food, climatic conditions, astrological events, social conditions, fate, God, luck, the devil, foreigners, ethnic groups, political rivals, and other things outside of ourselves. Projection is the main mechanism in use by the world today.
2. Expression
With this mechanism, the feeling is vented, verbalized or stated in body language, and acted out in endless group demonstrations. The expression of negative feelings allow just enough of the inner pressure to be let out so that the remainder can then be suppressed.
Sigmund Freud pointed out that suppression was the cause of neurosis; therefore, expression was mistakenly thought to be the cure. This misinterpretation became a license for self-indulgence at the cost of others.
What Freud actually said, in classical psychoanalysis, was that the repressed impulse or feeling was to be neutralized, sublimated, socialized, and channeled into constructive drives of love, work and creativity.
If we dump our negative feelings on others, they experience it as an attack and they, in turn, are forced to suppress, express or escape the feelings; therefore, the expression of negativity results in the deterioration and destruction of relationships.
A far better alternative is to take responsibility for our own feelings and neutralize them. Then, only positive feelings remain to be expressed.
3. Escape
Escape is the avoidance of feelings through diversion. This avoidance is the backbone of the entertainment and liquor industries, and also the route of the workaholic.
Escapism and avoidance of inner awareness is a socially condoned mechanism. People are desperate to stay unconscious. They are terrified of facing themselves. They dread even a moment of being alone.
Enormous amounts of energy are required to keep down the growing pressure of the suppressed and repressed feelings. There is a progressive loss of awareness and an arrest of growth.
And there is a loss of creativity, energy, and real interest in others. There is a halting of spiritual growth and eventually the development of physical and emotional illness, disease, aging, and premature death.
The projection of these repressed feelings results in the social problems, disorders and the increase of selfishness and callousness characteristic of our present society.
Most of all, the effect is the inability to truly love and trust another person, which results in emotional isolation and self-hatred.
Benefits of Letting Go
In contrast to the above, what happens instead when we let go of a feeling?
The energy behind the feeling is instantly surrendered and the net effect is decompression. The accumulated pressure begins to decrease as we constantly let go.
Everyone knows that, when we let go, we immediately feel better. The body’s physiology changes. There are detectable improvements in skin color, breathing, pulse, blood pressure, muscle tension, gastrointestinal function, and blood chemistry.
In the state of inner freedom, all bodily functions and organs move in the general direction of normalcy and health. There is an immediate increase in muscle power.
Vision improves and our perception of the world and ourselves changes for the better. We feel happier, more loving and more easygoing.
About Dr. David R. Hawkins
is a world-renowned author, psychiatrist, clinician, spiritual teacher, and researcher of consciousness.
During many years of clinical psychiatric practice, his primary aim was to seek the most effective ways to relieve human suffering in all of its many forms.
To this end, numerous disciplines of medicine, psychology, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, behavioral techniques, bio-feedback, acupuncture, nutrition, and brain chemistry were explored.
Beyond these clinical modalities were philosophical systems, metaphysics, a multitude of holistic health techniques, self-improvement courses, spiritual pathways, meditative techniques, and other ways to expand one’s awareness.
In all of these explorations, the mechanism of surrender was found to be of great practical benefit. Therefore, Dr. Hawkins has written this book, Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender, to share with others what was clinically observed and his personally experienced.
The letting go technique is a pragmatic system of eliminating obstacles and attachments. It can also be called a mechanism of surrender. There is scientific proof of its efficacy, an explanation of which is included in one of the chapters.
If you love to learn more about Dr. David R. Hawkins and more of his other books too, you may CLICK HERE.
Conclusion
A lot of people is going through lot of negative feelings during this difficult time. Therefore, learning to let go has become far more important during this period.
There are much more to share which I will continue in my next blog post. If you are interested to learn more, I would highly recommend you to read this book, Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender, by Dr. David R. Hawkins.
This book can be found at Amazon.
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Do you have any thought or experience you would love to share? Please feel free to leave them in my comment box provided at the bottom and I am more than happy to hear from you.
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Namaste.
Janet
I’m a qualified Yoga Teacher. I have been practicing yoga since year 2002 and start teaching since year 2004. I have created Janet Yoga Spirit to help everyone who is in the yoga journey and provide products and services to help everyone in whatever they are looking for in related to yoga including nice and comfortable yoga clothings for your yoga practice, yoga accessories that help you in your practice, retreats to help you to unplug yourself, yoga teacher training, yoga and meditation classes, yoga and wellness programs, tools to help you with the union of the body, mind and soul, and much more! Learn more about me under "About" and enjoy looking around and have a good time here! Namaste.
14 Comments
Ling T
Thank you for your post. Sometimes I have matters on how to express myself and let it go. Lucky me that I found your website, so that I knew some better ways and tips how to relax and get rid of my negative thoughts.
I know it is not easy to let go, but I will and I need to, and it takes some time. I’m not a quite talkative person, perhaps it’s quite hard for me to express how I feel.
I will try your method. Thanks a lot for your tips!
Janet
Hi Ling. You are most welcome.
Remember when you want to express your feeling, neutralize your negative feeling first then left only positive feelings remain to be expressed.
Do not suppress your negative feelings too. Allow it, feel it, pay attention to it, observe it but don’t identify it by label it with name like I’m feeling angry, sad, etc because this will allow your mind start to make up more stories and make your feeling even worse.
Just focus on your feeling and let go the thought from your mind. The feeling will slowly dissolve.
There are too much to share and I can’t share everything in one blog post here. To learn more details you might like to read the book – Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender which I have highly recommended.
I will share more with my next blog post. Keep connected with me 🙂
Jeff
Thank you for sharing this article on the power of letting go.
I found in the past until I let go my loses to my health and my relationship that letting go was the key to me being able to move forward again.
Until I learned how to let go, I just beat myself up and fell deeper and deeper into depression. So letting go is an important part of us recovering from our loses and moving on.
Jeff
Janet
Hi Jeff. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I also have learn the power of letting go through my past experience too. And it is true the body and head feel so much lighter after letting go! In fact, stress is a sign of negative feeling energy being accumulated in our body which I will share more in my next blog post.
Regarding the lose of health, you can use letting go technique to improve it. As I have learn from Dr. Sue Morter book – The Energy Codes, the suffer of our body is actually the negative energy hidden in our body. Her technique is focus on that part of the body is having problem and with the help of the universal energy to shift it back to our body’s central channel energy and release out.
From the technique I have learn from Dr. Sue Morter and Dr. David R. Hawkins, I have combined their technique into my meditation and I receive good result in term of health physically and mentally.
I have understand you do meditation regularly too. You can try it out. All the best to you! 🙂
Pablo
Hello Janet,
I got hooked up with your post and all that you said about letting go, is so accurate.
For instance, when you say “There is an immediate increase in muscle power.” That is so true, and in my personal experience, while I am not letting go a negative feeling, I barely can move my body. But as soon as the let go just starts, the power returns immediately and feels like one can move mountains.
I am 100% in agreement with your shares here.
Thank you!
Pablo
Janet
Hi Pablo. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Yes, this is amazing. A lot of people cannot understand it until they experience it. I also can feel the different in the breathing too. It’s like there are more oxygen in the lung!
These are the power of letting go 🙂
Matt Lin
Hi Janet,
This article is excellent, and I think everyone should read it.
I find myself is more like the suppression type of person, so that I feel unhappy quite often. I used to ignore these bad feelings and practice focusing on my breath when things happen. However, they all come back to me if another thing happens.
Maybe, I should start learning letting go of things that I concern a lot or surrender to them. Then, I might be happy like a kid then.
The book you recommend here seems like a good option, and I will try to get it as soon as I can.
Cheers,
Matt
Janet
Hi Matt. Thank you for sharing your thought.
When you mention about “ignore” those bad feelings, you are actually suppressing them. Therefore, it will come back to you again once it’s being triggle by thing happen.
You should actually let your this bad feelings come out but don’t react to it! You just look at it, feel it, accept it, and then let it go. Once you let go just move on. Don’t look back at it again.
Your mind will try to look back, so don’t allow it. Quickly do something else to bring your focus on the thing you are doing, and don’t let the mind wonder away and back to the past.
I know it’s not easy as our mind has been being condition to think too much. We just have to keep practice it until it becomes a skill.
Hope you enjoy reading the book and learn more. All the best to you! 🙂
Deb
Thanks for this timely article Janet. I have struggled with ‘letting go’ my entire life and as a result have struggled with depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem.
About a year ago I started practicing yoga as well as other exercises and I have found it really helps with my ability to let go of some of the negative feelings I had been harboring.
I have found the breathing techniques associated with yoga really help me to let go when something is on my mind. Do you have any other helpful tips that may make letting go easier?
Thank you for this article. I look forward to your next one.
Janet
Hi Deb. Yes, practice yoga does help in the letting go of negative energy because the yoga poses working with the breathing help to release those negative energy being trap in certain part of the body.
I also do meditation to help in letting go my negative energy. I know not many people find meditation is easy. You can try after your yoga practice end with a meditation. You will find that it’s easy to do meditation after a yoga practice. As you practice regularly, you will find it easy to do meditation.
Connect to the nature can help letting go easy too. Absorb yourself into the nature. Learn how tiny you are when you are infront of the nature and you will realise your bad feeling or happening is nothing.
Other ways like reading or listening to those inspiration articles or videos will help too.
All these I mention actually help in raising our frequency because high frequency are positive energy. I actually have written some blog posts about raising our vibration and universal energy stuffs.
If you are interested to read more, you might like to check it out at my category on Quantum Physics.
Yes, my next blog post will be release soon on coming weekends. Keep connect with me! Namaste.
Habib
This is an hugely important area of discussion which many of us don’t give any importance to it. And eventually it becomes a matter of life and death and like you said in your post too, that life become too difficult and burden for us and we secretly wait for the death.
We have not lived a quality of life and it’s so sad. Because over the years in our life we accumulated so much negativity without letting go of it. One must consciously let go of anything negative or negative feelings attached to free themselves and live a quality of life. I am learning this.
Thank you for the reminder.
Janet
Hi Habib. Thank you for sharing your thought.
Yes, not only you are learning, I am learning too and everyone of us are learning as life basically is a learning journey. This is what life is about.
We need to constantly remind ourselves and help to remind others too. This is also a way of helping one another! 🙂
Hannie
Hi Janet, great article with a good explanation of all the different escape routes we create for ourselves to deal with negative emotions.
My mother was the type ‘don’t talk about, then it’s not there’. I am not sure where it belongs, probably in your point 1. For years I have thought this wasn’t the best of behaviors, yet for her it functioned very well. So who am I to judge that.
For me it works better to indeed let it go; forgive, move on. 🙂
Janet
Hi Hannie. Thank you for sharing your thought.
As you have shared about your mother’s case not sure she belong to which type. Well, when a person don’t talk about her negative feelng doesn’t mean she belong to suppression and repression type especially you mention she function it very well.
And I not sure when you mention she function it very well is in what sense. We need to know what is going on in her inner world actually. More details are need in order to analysis it.
I have mention that expressing our negative feeling out is not a good way of letting go too as this will fall under the expression type category. Inside us, we must be able to accept it, forgive and forget it, let it go and move on.
After these are done inside us, we will project out to the outer world is a positive energy. This explain why when we feel love, happy and good inside, we tense to treat others with love, care and kindness. But when we feel angry, hate and bad inside, we tense to treat others rude, unkind and bad.